How many posts, memes, blogs, tweets have we seen? All with the same theme running through? The absolute horror of a year that we just lived through. All of us, eagerly looking forward to putting this year behind us and hoping that the new year 2021 is nothing like its predecessor. This year of 2020 has been a frightful nightmare for most, is not all of us in one way or another.
I, personally have had to deal with deaths of loved ones, job losses, uncertainty, separation from family and the list goes on. I totally know that I am so not the only one as there are loads of people out there that are dealing with the list above and so much more.
Yet, strangely enough I have to say that this year has taught me more than any other year. Albeit not the lessons I thought I would have learnt, but in other ways, lessons that needed to be learnt. I experienced the pain of not being able to visit a dying loved one or even attend her funeral. Worrying day by day, hour by hour if I will have a job in the next 5 minutes, never mind tomorrow. I learnt what anxiety was, experiencing moments when I literally felt I could not breathe.
Are these the lessons I learnt? Are these the lessons that make me have a new appreciation for being grateful? Yes. even though I missed being with my great aunt in her last moments, even before when she would have known me and I could have held her hand and told her how much I loved her, I learnt that I was grateful for all the years that I did have her. All the times that I was able to spend with her, learning how to bake, copying her recipes, laughing at her stories and I was grateful I got to tell her that I loved her, loved her so very much. I am grateful, more than ever, for my job. Something I took for granted before. I have learnt that I will NEVER take my employment for granted again as I know it is indeed a gift, especially in these times, to be able to make money and pay my bills.
I know what it is like to not be able to sleep with all the worries and fears swirling in your head and seeing each and every bill dance before your closed eyelids. But enough of that, we could all go on and on, listing our horror stories, each worse than the last. But as long as we have learnt something from this past year, then it wasn’t all for nothing. In a strange way I am glad for the past year, as I think I am coming out of it, a more mindful person, at least I am more mindful of the attributes that I must continue to work and improve upon.
Til next year, continue baking and making good choices, xo, Lisa
If you are reading this, your answer may very well be the same as mine. We could even shout it out together (if we were in the same room).. BAKING!
Yup, baking. It is amazing how many emotions that one simple word evokes. Pictures of warm, delicious goodness coming straight from the oven. You can picture the steam rising off a loaf of freshly baked bread. The joy of seeing your cinnamon rolls, hot and full of cinnamony gooey-ness. I know, I know the joy of waiting to see the finished cookies at 2 am. Seeing that perfect chocolate chip cookie and cannot believe that you, simple amateur baker, you made this work of art!
I have been writing and pinning so many recipes for when I eventually go home that I don’t even know where to start anymore. There are recipes for cookies, muffins, breads, pizzas. The list just goes on and on. But I am so excited. I ordered all these cookie cutters and sadly, I was not home for Christmas to use them, but hey there is always next year, and who says, you cannot have gingerbread people in April?
There are loads of things, hobbies, people that make me happy. But baking truly is an activity that creates this feeling of sublime peace. My Zen, my go to place when I am upset or just need to release stress. It is where I can create, combine and come up with something that may not be perfect but something that I am perfectly happy with. Baking is a science, we know that, but baking is also a passion. I realized that you cannot have one without the other in order to create truly great bakes. I follow awesome people like Tessa Arias from Handle The Heat, Gemma Stafford from Bigger, Bolder Baking and so many more. I learn different techniques, hack and so much more from all of them. I am pretty far off from being anything close to resembling a professional, but I have the passion and that, is a happy start.
I don’t know. Do I have the right to be annoyed? You know the times when it’s the little things that annoy you. And if you dare to act irritated you always get that one person who thinks that you are overreacting. Which in turn adds another layer to the annoyance sandwich. Why is it that I don’t have the right to be annoyed over the little things?
But I do. I absolutely do have the right to get mad. To want to, and even go right ahead and, curse and swear and pace over a bumped toe or even a t-shirt that simply won’t go over my head fast enough. A knock on the door while I am trying to nap. An incoming message alert on my phone. The real little things that should not even remotely matter have a way of getting under my skin. But I feel like I must hide this emotion as you don’t want to be seen as irritable, or petty or just weird.
I got my nap disturbed. I love my naps. I truly LOVE my naps. I am passionate about napping. I have theories on naps, including that a truly good nap should not be less than two full, uninterrupted hours. My husband does not understand this nor does he subscribe to my theory. But I have always been a two hour napper. And if I know I cannot get two full hours of blissful nap sleep, then I don’t even bother. So, when I get a knock on the door, announcing something trite and nothing short of an announcement that I have won a major lottery, I get mad. I get pissed, I get….annoyed.
So, I am up now and I am going to look at clouds and try another nap tomorrow.
Is it? How is it that most times when people refer to baking, the first phrase out of their mouths is “Baking is my passion” ? Can baking be a passion? Do we really LOVE baking? Do we think about baking every second of every day? Answer yes to the above and you and me could be friends.